Say it with me: “I’m Mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this ANYMORE!”

Ask any of my friends, and they’ll likely tell you I’ve been an old man trapped in a young man’s body since I was 15 years old.  That I exhibit old man tendencies has been true off-and-on for the last twenty years.

The Friar Tuck hairline didn’t help dispel that notion.  Now, with the red in The Beard having been largely replaced with white, I’m really starting to look the part of cranky old guy in residence.

The old man caricatures don’t stop at appearances.  I’d like to think that I’m prone to be the thoughtful, mature voice in the crowd is how I got this reputation, but that’s not the truth. Instead, I’m usually the cranky curmudgeon over in the corner that everyone hopes doesn’t speak up and no one wants to hear from.  And I’m comfortable with that.

Every once in while, I’ll get riled enough that I feel compelled to speak up and set the record straight.  Below is a collection of my various rants, golf related and otherwise, that for the sake of the future of the human race I think ought to be aired in public.

• Playing golf alone in the rain is underrated. Spirit of the Game: Finding something I wasn’t looking for.
• I became a golf course architecture enthusiast out of desperation. How I came to care about Golf Course Architecture.
• I really have to mix it up more often. A Whole Different Game from the Red Tees.
• It’s not airline food, but sometimes I just can’t stand my Adventures in Golf Course Food.
• Can it really be? Golfers can get A Putter Fitting?
• After playing there myself, it’s fun Watching the Pros “Struggle” at Harbour Town.
• The ridiculousness of a 15-inch golf hole: Golf is Dying? I don’t buy it.
• Hitting golf balls until your hands bleed is a stupid thing to do: How not to practice.
• Not every course can be Whistling Straits, but Is walking the golf course coming back in style?
• Almost everyone loves the changes of the Pinehurst No. 2 Renovation – wave of the future or cute little story?
• Expounding on my personal definition of What make a golf course “fair.”
• My two cents on the iron-replacement trend: The Devil I Know: I’m keeping my 3-iron.
• A plea for help: How do I not “Lose” my swing over the winter?
• My home golf course is suffering: Why the hell don’t pitch marks (ball marks) on greens get fixed?!?!
• Why I had to walk off the golf course in a fit of rage: A case study in atrocious course tee time management at Devou Park
• I can’t believe what I’m seeing: Wait…what?!? Is that a…six-some? The real cost of not having golf course rangers.
• It shouldn’t be this hard: Why is it so difficult to print your GHIN Handicap card?
• I get nostalgic around Christmas: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf
• A humbling lesson about remembering why we play – The Gift of Perspective – After all, it’s just a game
• A manly little crying and whining over not being great at golf – The Confidence Conundrum – From the Range to the 1st Tee
• Overcoming fears and crises of confidence – Learning to “Take Dead Aim”
• There are good reasons superintendents don’t let you play golf on frost and frozen turf, but here are some of mine – A Word on Frozen Golf
• A near death and/or felony experience provides a Reminder: Do not ever hit into people! Ever!
• There are some terrible golf holes in Central Kentucky: A Dirty Dozen: twelve terrible golf holes around Lexington
• Can you believe golfers used to buy everything from the Pro Shop? Spending Old School: Buying golf equipment from the Pro Shop
• Sometimes you’re in the danger zone no matter where you stand. Missing badly: When yelling Fore! isn’t enough.

Also, once in a Blue Moon of Kentucky, I’ll get inspired to completely make something up.  Think less Newbery Medal, more The Onion.  These definitely shouldn’t be read…by anyone…ever.

• Poking a little fun at Steve Flesch: Breaking News: Steve Flesch is a confessed Golf Club Breaker!